Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
