come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
