wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
