i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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