I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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