I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
