he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
