babies were throwing up all over the place
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
