that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
