can u get pink eye on your cock?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
