Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
