We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
last night I used snow as a chaser
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
