I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
