I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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