I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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