My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
