I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I did not marry a roomba.
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