How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this will be a night to untag.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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