So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
