I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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