Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
