he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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