either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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