hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We named our party play list daddy issues
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
