4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
