I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
tell me about the eggs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
