i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
