So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Are we still banned from the library?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
