We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
