Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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