do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
