So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just cropdusted the office
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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