Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
