so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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