he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
