Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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