he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
