She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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