so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
