just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
