If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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