can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
