so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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