Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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