who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
