don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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