Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
