Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
