Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
