Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
