Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
