I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
